The Lion's Gate Portal occurs when the Leo Sun aligns with the star Sirius, the Orion belt and the Pyramids of Giza in Egypt. In astrology, the moment is believed to open the flow of energy between the spiritual and physical planes, making it a powerful day for personal growth, transformation and spiritual awakenings.
Exactly a year ago the Lions gate came unhinged, at least for me, and welcomed in a year long downward spiral into one of the darkest nights my soul has seen in a very long time.
August 1st 2022, I arrived home from Italy full of joie de vivre, or the Italian equivalent. On August 3rd I had a pretty serious dental surgery which ripped open the portal to my soul and all hell broke loose.
And then on August 8th chaos ensued… the gate burst open and sucked me past it’s portal between worlds and into the shadows of myself.
I met a man “The Colombian” who would soon rip my heart to shreds, even though he should have never had his claws on it, and make me question love and my worthiness of it, I would have to fire my main animation company on my series, which would cause a delay and force me to question my own abilities as a filmmaker, and require me to take on a client who was anything but ethical and bring up a whole lotta trust issues.
And then just after my birthday, as I lay breathless from digging myself out from the deepest crevices of hades, my body half in and half out, I spy the first poppy peeking from the hardened earth and I breathe in the fresh air with hopefulness…
And then, I break my ankle on the one year anniversary of my Mothers death.
I hadn’t spoken to my mother for almost 7 years before I called her one last time before she died. The phone call was short and mainly about how my kids are amazing. Nothing ever spoken about the deep secrets we both held about my life, the trauma it caused or her culpability in it.
When she finally died, I did not cry, I did not grieve for I had decided she was dead a long time before her body left this earth.
Ironically, that trauma began with a dentist some 42 years ago, and is the main reason my teeth were in such bad shape.
Clearly I opened and old would that had festered too long and grief was oozing from beneath the bandaids I had applied for so many years.
The Lion took its time devouring me and clearly there was morrow left to be sucked from my almost decomposed corpse.
And so here we are, 8-8-2023. The gate has re-opened (Not sure mine ever closed) and I sit in limbo. Fighting for my home from an unjust eviction, finally ready to sell my series, creating another one, writing, dreaming and wondering WTF.
20 odd years ago I was made a promise. That my 50’s would be my shining decade. The one where everything I had ever suffered, and endured would transmute into the dreams I held as I cried myself to sleep.
And gosh darn it, I am ready. And I think I may have finally understood the assignment.
This year, as I light my candle and chant my dreams, they are much more practical and grounded.
Stability
True friendship
True Love
Peace
I mean what could go wrong with those…
Right?😬
More about my story with my Mother, The Columbian, and my 50 Shades of WTF is on my paid membership portion of this blog./ Just click subscribed and you can upgrade.
Years and years ago Terry Cole Whittaker said something at an in person seminar I took with her: “You get two things in life, the things you ask for and the things you are afraid of.” For me, I know that focusing on fear is a sure way to manifest that fear’s lesson. I hope you are able to manifest your heart’s desires and purge whatever unworthiness that was unwittingly planted in you along the way. I wish that for myself as well.