So I’m moving to Minnesota
And everyone keeps telling me I’m about to have my “Hallmark experience“
So here’s what I was thinking of putting on my dating profile let me know what you think…
Howdy men of Minnesota. New to the Midwest, sassy as fuck, been there done that, take care of my own shit, still like sex, and I’m so liberal even the liberals hate me, so keep your bullshit beliefs off my body and will have a good time.
If you’re obsessed with who people fuck, who people marry, what color their skin is, or what comes out of their vaginas, then you clearly are lost in the rabbit hole of fear and doubt and need to go back to your ex.
If you’re donning a maxi pad upon your ear, fake diapers or a red hat, you clearly need to get laid and you need to move your ass along.
If you don’t know what a white paper is, get your science from social media and haven’t read Bukowski, I am not your girl.
I am fun, adventurous, well traveled and read, I don’t want to marry you, I don’t wanna live with you. I will not give birth to your children.
But I will keep you on your toes.
I know how to can, make jam, and I’ve already had my country bumpkin entrepreneur moment making gourmet dog treats out of my kitchen.
I’m not sure how long I’ll be here, but I intend to make the best of it.
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So what do you think? Will there be a movie about my life in the next four years on lifetime because I got murdered or Hallmark because I had a happy ending?
Go BOB Go! Beautiful photo!