I recently received this comment on a post I wrote about the “other woman.” It was not one of my most popular articles, which is OK. I don’t write on Medium for claps and comments; I write on Medium for fun.
My page isn’t geared toward any specific topic or genre. It’s simply a place for me to share my thoughts on whatever has popped into my head that day. And to fulfill the commitment that I made to myself that I would try to write at least one essay, if not two, every week.
People definitely have many opinions about what I write about, yet I have never actually experienced someone hating for the sake of hating.
I know this hating thing is a thing right now. People feel emboldened to simply spew out whatever thoughts pop into their heads, especially when it inspires so much emotion, you know, the intrusive thoughts we should probably just keep to ourselves.
It was such an odd comment. This article was so inconsequential and not worth anyone’s time unless, of course, it had some personal meaning to them, which led me to believe that she is either the other woman or she is the original woman and has been betrayed. Or maybe she’s both because if you are the other woman, you’re still being betrayed. Or maybe she’s a stepmom who hates her hubby’s baby mama… either way- she’s got a lot of anger, I suspect.
Don’t get me wrong; there’s plenty of rage to go around in many of these baby mama/daddies, step-mom/dad–blended family situations… I get it.
I mean, what else drives a person to just spew something so hurtful and mean at someone they don’t know? Like, does she really want me to quit writing? The fact is I actually make my living as a writer. I coach writers! I’ve won awards, and so have my clients! Mind you, I’m not summering in the Hamptons, but I do all right. I’ve raised two kids on my own by writing; people read my stuff, and I get a lot of claps and comments here, so at least it seems to me that some people like my writing.
I’ve even published several best-selling books. So, do I take the advice of this random woman on the Internet who calls herself a writer, an editor, and a troublemaker? Do I throw in the towel because some random woman said I can’t write, even if everything else in my writing career points to a very different reality? Is Livia here onto something? Or do I just turn the other cheek and remind myself that people are just going to spew hate because they can?
Maybe she just needed attention. Her medium, which started around the same time mine did, doesn’t have as many followers, and clearly, she’s not generating the kind of responses and claps, etc., that I am on this platform. Which I would never have even considered looking at if it hadn’t been for her vicious and intentionally mean-spirited attack.
I had to look at her profile. Maybe she was this master writer with thousands of followers, best-selling novels, screenplays, etc., and therefore, her opinion might be valid, and I should instantly reconsider my career choice.
I went and read a couple of her pieces, well written, about as mindane as random as my own writing. I suppose I could have responded in kind. But I didn’t feel the need to perpetuate hate. I posted her comment along with her name so that maybe she could get what she needed: attention. Maybe there are others who read my stuff who hate it, and you can all become friends and commensurate on how terrible of a writer I am together. I am a big fan of building community.
It would almost be like what I described in my piece about the other women. Often those relationships fail when the fun of hating on a common enemy wears thin, and you realize that the person you thought was your “friend” or “lover” is just an asshole and maybe the other, other woman, was right all along, and you’ve been hoodwinked. Driven by your own need to hate on someone and, well, like attracts like, right?
Whatever her reason, it did inspire this piece of writing, which may also suck…she did say I should stick to filmmaking; wait, has she seen my work? Does she know I wrote all of that as well?
It doesn’t matter. I’m going to keep writing. It brings me joy and basically pays the bills, and I’m too old to start a new career because someone I don’t know might tell me I suck at, so I might as well stay sucking at this.
Speaking of writing… I’ve just finished my first draft of a book on writing and steps to publish your book. I am looking for 4 beta readers. DM if you want to be one!
F her